When Caring Turns Cold: The Disturbing Reality of Lies and Cover-Ups within the NHS and Social Services: A Daughter's Battle to Save Her Ailing Mother and Get Her Home

This is the harrowing story of Kathleen, told in her daughter Annie's own words of the fight to get her mother out of the NHS and care system.

My mother and I lived together since my birth. I do have an older brother and sister, but they left home before mother uprooted us from Yorkshire to Northamptonshire in 1982. The reason she did this was because my brother moved there in I think 1979 and my sister in 1981. She did not want to miss the grandchildren growing up. We did see them grow up and had my sister's children most weekends, took them on holiday, to motor racing, day trips etc. All of which were organised and paid for by myself. 

My siblings abused me growing up and still did, particularly my sister, when we became adults. She made out to people I was nasty, unfriendley and whatever else she could lie about regarding me. But she still asked me for money which I would lend to her but never get back. Her children did the same when they grew up and to this day, still owe me money. 

When I stopped lending them all money they went to my mother. Keep in mind that unlike myself, my mother didn't have a well paid job, plus she'd stopped working as soon as she turned 60. My mother used to get £200 per month off me for board and lodgings, I also gave her money for the council tax and half towards the bills. So mother had plenty off me. She also had her state pension plus a small private pension. 

I was a full time retail sales manager earning and taking home around £1300 to £1600 pm. Then in 2008 after my mother's 70th birthday (which all the family were invited to) my siblings and their children suddenly stopped contacting and visiting my mother. We had no idea why. Her Grandchildren were getting engaged, married, having their own children. We were never notified by my siblings of any of these events, Instead we heard it second-hand from people who knew our family and assumed we already knew. I will add that they also never visited their father either. Our half siblings have never met the others in truth. Only the half sister once ( my sister) and she hated her and her children. 

2015

Fast forward to 2015. I come home from work to find two people leaving our house. They claimed they were visiting my mother after an allegation that I had been shouting at and abusing my mother. They spoke with her and she assured them that I looked after her and did none of those things. Keep in mind my mother wore an NHS hearing aid which was not that good. 

2016

In 2016 my mother signed her house over to me. The property needed a lot of work doing to it which my mother couldn't afford. I had already had a substantial amount of work done before she passed it on to me which included a new extension, bathroom, roof, central heating and double glazing. 

In the same year, my ex sister-in-law had befriended me on Facebook so had a good knowledge of what was going on in my life at the time. It turned out she was actually spying on me for the other siblings. 

My sister reported me to social services claiming that I was stealing from my mother and abusing her. This particular sister had moved to Hull in 2006 to live with a cousin's ex-husband. The social services yet again questioned my mother and again she reassured them that I was not stealing from her. I had no need to steal from my mother as it's something I would never do, plus I had my own money. 

The fake allegations continued and were ironically made by people who had no contact with myself, my mother or my mother's siblings and friends. Additionally, it was always my mother's intention to give me the property as she often said "they deserved nothing". This was confirmed by my aunties who said my mother had told them years earlier that my siblings were not being given a share in the property as they did not bother with her and that is was myself who did everything for her. I have them recorded saying precisely this. To be honest, it came as a shock to me to hear that my mother had been telling people what my siblings were like to us both for a long time.

JANUARY 2017

In January 2017, I was advised by two friends to contact Social Services to ask them if they would help accomodate my mother whilst I had the hallway gutted. Social Services refused as said she was not classed as disabled and later claimed I had rang because I could not cope with her which was untrue. In the end, I decided to wait until we were on holiday to have the hallway gutted (we were having all the plaster removed back to the brick then re-plastered). 

Once again I spoke to my mother's doctor about concerns I had and explained a nurse practitioner had told me she did not have dementia. The doctor checked mother over and said it was short term memory loss and didn't feel it was actual dementia. He decided to send her to memory clinic to get checked out. Whilst at the memory clinic, they discovered she had a water infection which they dealt with. 

One day, my son arrived home from a day out at the national space museum. My mother was sat on the floor unable to get up. We tried to help her up but failed. On a friend's advise we called for an ambulance. Two hours passed and they still hadn't arrived. I called again and was told it was not an emergency. In the end, again taking a friend's advice I called from a different phone and told them she had fallen and within thirty minutes the ambulance arrived and took her to hospital. 

Mother spent eleven hours in A&E and then finally moved to a ward were I could visit. She looked totally drugged up. She was later moved to another ward were she was sat down all the time and became imobile. She was put in disposable pants and told to urinate and do bowel movements into those rather than using a the toilet or bedpan. The doctor informed me she had a very bad water infection. 

I had Power Of Attorney for my mother, but for wealth and not health. The doctor went on to tell me she had dementia and claimed that her doctor had told him that I had already notified him of this. I replied that she was confused and that water infections apparently mimic dementia. My mother was kept in Kettering general hospital from January of 2017 until March that year. Everyday I visited her, she would ask to go home and said she would sign herself out. I tried to keep her calm. 

The paperwork from the hospital makes me out to be a nasty person. I reported the hospital several times. This can be checked on the Hospital standards which stated she was put into special measures through lack of care etc. 

My mother was released from the hospital with carers assigned to her, but 24 hours later she was back in hospital as couldn't bear weight, she was totally imobile as a result of being in the hospital for so long.  They put her on physio to get her weight bareing. At home she used a walking stick, but they said she would now need a zimmer frame. 

MAY 2017 

My mother remained in hospital for a further two months and was released with a six week care package in May 2017. The carers assigned to her could see they were not needed. I cooked all meals and my mother dressed, washed herself and got her own lunch from the fridge etc. She was adament she did not want to go to any day centres. I actually stopped the carers coming and enlisted her into a day centre. 

I had to attend a four-week work-related training course where I was away weekdays and home at weekends. I had the carers come in Monday to Friday. They were giving her the wrong food and did not give her the dementia medication. They were also asking my son to help them. He was home 5 days out of 7. 

One day during course I was phoned by an Alan Kelmarsh asking if I still required the carers. "No" I replied, "mother wants her independance as much as possible,iIt is a family home, and I do most things, cook and prepare all meals, clean, shop and so on". 

JUNE 2017

When I got home I had a call from Social Services. They then sent round a social worker called Jamal Sullerman. I once again stated I did not require help. I explained I worked full time and that what I was doing, I have been doing since I became an adult and started work. My siblings didn't really care. I went on to say that mother had to do exercises four times a day so if a carer could come and do that I would be grateful. This carer did call three times a day, but never did the exercises with mother so again I had to fit them in twice before going to work and twice after work. The carer was appointed the job June 2017. 

JULY 2017

In July 2017 I was visiting my father for his birthday with my son. I organised for my mother to go into a care home via Social Services. My goodness what they put on her discharge papers including that I'd sent her there in a taxi by herself. It was actually the social worker Jamal Sullerman who took her, he offered to do that. At one point he sent me a text to say she was pointing things out to him during the journey, places she recognised etc. I visited my mother during the evenings after work. 

Jamal Sullerman had mistakingly taken the electric things left for the electrician to fit whilst we where away visiting my father, the box of old books that were left for the charity shop to collect the following day. Even the carers laughed at what he had done. But he had not taken what she actually need, the big bag filled with her disposable pants, so I had to get her more. 

I decided to let the carer know she was no longer required. She said that was fine and I had her number if I felt I needed her. Both her and Jamal agreed I did a great job looking after my mother. Everyone who knew us said that including her doctor, optician, beautician etc. Myself, my son and my mother did our own things. We went on holiday together. Mother did not want to go on all holidays, so on those occassions I put her into a private care home using her attendance allowance. 

We used to have girls weekends were it would just be mother and I going to Yorkshire to see her siblings, inlaws, friends, nephew and nieces. I would ring my sister to arrange a visit but she never answered the phone or returned the calls. The only time she answered the phone was when my friend said to ring from her phone. My sister would tell my mother she would ring her back as claimed she was going out. That was July 2016 and to this day Tracy had never had a call back from my sister. My brother did the same. 

OCTOBER 2017

In October 2017 my mother got so frustrated at having to leave a voicemail that she screamed down the phone. My sister in law reported it to the police and social services claiming I was abusing and beating up my mother. When Police came out to check they found my mother fast asleep. They woke her up and saw she was fine. They told social services it seems to be just a family disagreement. 

FEBRUARY 2018

My mother was taken off her dementia tablets in February 2018. People said she was better without them and less confused. She was also sleeping better through the night and not shouting and screaming. The only time she got up during the night was to take herself to the toilet. Yes took herself to the toilet in the night. 

FEBRUARY 2019

In February 2019 Charles and I were off to Disney land. Mother did not want to go so we put her in Glenkindie lodge in Desborough between 10th February to 26th February 2019. My mother had bruises, the ones on her face I could not work out how she got them, but think might have been the big bed loop olympus care put on her bed. She had no bed loop when in hotels, the cottage in Scarborough or even in the care home for respite. 

I phoned the care home when I returned from Paris. They said how well mother was. How little care she needed and went on to say what a great job I did for her, particularly given I worked full time. They also told me that mother had a pressure sore and appologised. I told them she gets them a lot and that we had a pressure cushion that I should have sent with her. I went on to say that the district nurse advised my mother to get up every 2 hours to walk around but she must have forgotten this whilst there. At home we have the big church clock she can see all day which would remind her.

The report from the care home shows she did not need much help and also mentioned how she was enjoying doing her knitting. I collected her on 26th February 2019. 

MARCH 2019

On March 11th 2019 mother seemed down. She said it was something she could not work out, that was making her sad. The next day I sent her to the day centre even though I was thinking not to. She would be in company. She had a bruise on her face again, it was fading as it happened when she got home from the Glenkindie. I still swear it was the big bed loop. I asked her what they did at the centre. She said she was not sure, that it was in her book. Strange as I did not get her book out to read like I normally do. 

On 13th March 2019 I went shopping first thing in the morning. I had taken the day off work instead of the Thursday like I normally had off. I saw a police car 2 doors down on my return. I unpacked the shopping and put it away. I called Charles down as we were going to the cinema. I asked mother once again if she was sure she did not want to come and see Captain Marvel. Yes she was sure. I said we will go to costa later. Mother told us to have a good time. As we left, the police car was still 2 doors down and with officers sat in it. 

My son and I got the bus and went to the cinema. When the film finished I checked my phone. I had a missed call and a text from the same number. I read the text which was from a DC Charlotte Green explaining they had taken mother from the house and moved her to a safe place. I rang her to ask why. She would not say but said she needed to talk to me the next day. I told her I was at work but she advised me not to go or they would have to come to my work place and arrest me. I asked what I was being arrested for and again she refused to tell me.  I rang Jenny, who went to check if mother was at home which she wasn't. There was no forced entry at the property. My friend Tracy told me to go to the station myself rather than have them arrest me. 

On 14th March Jenny took me to the police station in Kettering. We had gone to the wrong station and it was in fact one in Northampton I needed to go to. I phoned the officer, Jo Hucker to let her know I was on my way and it would take an hour. We were kept waiting for a bit, then officers Hucker and Flavell came into the reception area. They asked me if I needed a solicitor and after discussing with my friend I decided i did as we didn't even know what I was being accused of. As I was about to tell the officers, Hucker went on to say that if I did want one it would be hours before they got there, so I agreed to do the interview without one. 

I was advised they were going to question me on care and my relationship with my mother. If I recall correctly, the first question asked was did I have siblings. During the interview, they told me that as a result of my care, my mother was two weeks away from death. Keep in mind mother had been in a care home for two weeks out of the twelve days before they took her. Also, if she was two weeks away from death, why was she not in a hospital? 

They went on to tell me that my mother had told them I hit her, stole from her etc. I was aghast. More so when they said that my mother told them I called her a ''miserable little Fucker'' all I could say to that was that neither she nor I swore. After being asked several times and repeatedly giving the same response that I did not hit her, I decided in the end to say I did just to get out of there. So I falsely confessed I had. I was petrified. I was then told my mother did not want to return home to me and that she'd made the decision to move to Hull. 

DECEMBER 2019

From March to December 2019 my son and I were told she did not want to see us. We did not know where she was until 20th December 2019. Once we found out I let my mother's siblings, friends, nephews and nieces know where she was as they didn't know either. My friend Elaine visited my mother the day after I found out where she was residing. Mother told Elaine I was dead and that is why she was in a care home. Elaine sent me a text message at the time saying ''mam thinks your dead'' I rang Elaine and spoke to my mother. She asked me when was I going to collect her. I was still shocked at her allegations that I abused and neglected her. Elaine rang me that night and said all Mam wanted was to be home with Charles and you. 

Every day we rang mother and every day she asked me to collect her. I wasn't allowed to as Mark Atkinson the social worker had given me a list of restrictions, which he made out, were from the police. It was on unheaded and unsigned A4 paper. I have a copy of this. My son emailed that social worker and told him that my mother wanted to be home. He also told them that she said a carer where she was staying, had hit her and that she was attacked when we were speaking to her on a call. 

The following videos give a deeper understanding of what has and is continuing to happen. The first is a documentary covering the stories of family who lost their loved ones to involuntary euthanasia. The second video is Michael Elston who is raising awareness of the new Nice Guidelines for NG163 protocol: